OCD

Take a journey through my mind and then you’ll see
I have OCD, which stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
I’m obsessed with things like symmetry and order
I’m superstitious like a four leaf clover
No matter what I do, it’s taking over
Hear the thoughts I try to hide
Feel the fear I feel inside
See the images inside my mind
That are so intrusive and disturbing
My thoughts and feelings take control of me
These obsessions and compulsions got the best of me
I’ve got so many urges; they’re too hard to resist
My thoughts are racing; I’m tossing and turning
Doubting; repeating; checking; counting
Order – everything is symmetrical; start to finish; all-or-nothing; small to big; left to right; colour/brand coordinated; categories; dates; numbers; alphabetical order
There are no exceptions allowed
Everything has to be perfect
“There’s no such thing as perfect”
Yes, there is such thing as perfect
Don’t touch my stuff – I’ll lose it
Don’t change something – I’ll rearrange it
If you do, I’ll know and I’ll fix it
Cleaning and organizing
It calms me the fuck down
I have to fix it; I have to clean; I have to organize
I have to fix it; I have to clean; I have to organize
I have to fix it; I have to clean; I have to organize
Can’t focus if I don’t; if it’s not perfect
I try and let go, but I feel so stressed
When I stress, I obsess
The cycle never ends
I have to start over now
I don’t like how I started
I have to start over again
I can hardly finish a task
Can’t miss anything
Can’t make a mistake
Have to memorize everything
Can’t turn to drugs and alcohol
Can’t turn to self-harm and suicide
So I turn to this – it’s the only thing
This, cigarettes, coffee and espresso shots
At night, I just can’t sleep
I lay awake and weep
Inner-peace, I try to find
I pray to God, my only guide
God is reaching out
But the Devil’s got a hold of me
I pray one day I’ll be free
From all of these temptations

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