Have You Ever

Have you ever felt so much pain, that your mind, body, soul and heart ache? And all you can do is fall to your knees and cry?

Have you ever felt so much fear, that your heart beats so fast, you can’t catch your breath, your body shakes inside and out, your stomach turns in circles, and you feel as though you are going to die or have a heart attack? And all you can do is call for God’s help and pray for the moment to pass?

Have you ever felt so much doubt, that you struggle to believe in yourself, your own strengths and abilities, you question your worth and value as an individual, and you wonder whether or not you are competent and good enough? And all you can do is try your hardest to not let these thoughts discourage you from living your passion, goals and dreams?

Have you ever felt so paranoid, that you constantly scan the environment and your surroundings for any signs of threat or danger, because you think something “bad” is going to happen and you don’t trust others, and so, you never feel calm and safe, and you are always on guard? And all you can do is prepare your body to fight, flight, or perhaps even die?

Have you ever felt what it’s like to experience a psychotic episode, when and where you hear loud, angry, scary, hurtful and demeaning voices that put you down or demand that you act on their commandments, and you lose sight of who you are or which voice is yours? And all you can do is fight against this force with all of your might, to not let the voices control you, your mood, words, actions and behaviour?

Have you ever felt so dissociated, that you feel so alienated, so isolated, so different, so disconnected, so separated, from yourself, others and the world around you, you feel that you, others and/or the world aren’t real? And all you can do is watch this so called “life”/illusion from the side or from above, as a spectator?

Have you ever felt so confused, that you lose sight of who you are, what you think, what you feel, what and who you believe in, and what you truly want and need most in life? And all you can do is remain frozen, stuck and paralyzed?

Have you ever felt so lost, that you have no idea who you are, what you are doing, where you are going, and you forget your purpose in life? And all you can do is hope and pray that you return to yourself and find your way home again?

Have you ever felt so much anger and rage, that your muscles and body tense up from head to toe, your jaw and fists clench, and you get so close to acting on violent and dangerous impulses/urges? And all you can do is hold on for your life?

Have you ever felt so irritable, that anything anyone says or does frustrates the heck out of you? And all you can do is try your hardest to keep your cool, take deep breaths and remain calm/patient?

Have you ever felt so much shame and guilt, that you feel absolutely pathetic and worthless, sick and disgusted with yourself and/or others, and you can’t stand to see your reflection in the mirror. And all you can do is mope and wallow around in your own self-pity?

Have you ever felt such severe, intense and overwhelming emotions, that you feel as though you would rather die than feel what you feel for one more second? And all you can do is fight to survive?

Have you ever felt so distracted, that you cannot focus on anything or anyone but yourself because you are too consumed and overwhelmed by your own thoughts and feelings, or the disturbing images in your head? And all you can do is force yourself to bring yourself back to the present moment and hope to still grasp the information being presented to you?

Have you ever felt so depressed, that you feel so down and low, you have little to no energy or motivation to do anything, and everything in life feels like a chore? And all you can do is force yourself to get out of bed to do the most simplest things like wash your face, brush your teeth, shower and eat?

Have you ever felt so tired, that you feel as though you have nothing more in you to give, and you want to give up, give in and call it quits? And all you can do is reach out to God and your army full of people to help you get through the day?

Have you ever felt all of these feelings on the inside, not the outside, by putting on a mask around others and suffering in silence, while inside your mind is screaming? And all you can do is put on a brave face and a beautiful, painted smile, to be strong for your family and friends, and all those who need you?

Have you ever felt this way on a daily basis? And all you can do is hold on tight, and hope and pray for a better day?

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