War Against my Alter Ego(s)

This poem goes out to a little child
Who believed we’d never make it
Her name is Katie
The world for her is a dangerous place
And she doesn’t feel one bit safe
She doesn’t trust anybody
Not even herself
She’s so vulnerable
She’s anxious and depressed
She’s broken and damaged
She’s helpless and hopeless
She’s lost and confused
She’s alone and she’s suffering
She hurts herself to drown out the pain
Drugs, alcohol, self-harm and suicide attempts become her escape
She hides in a closet, curled up in a ball, in the dark, where nobody can find her
She sits and cries at night, wishing she dies
Why must she go on?
The future doesn’t look promising
She will never amount to anything
That’s what she believed
Might as well take the easy way out
Might as well give up and give in
Suicide was her only option

This poem goes out to an angry male
Who commanded that we give up
His name is Etak
The world for him is a dangerous place
But inside his brain is the scariest
He doesn’t trust anybody
Not even himself
He’s so impulsive
He’s angry and upset
He’s broken and damaged
He’s paranoid and distrusting
He’s hurtful and abusive
He’s alone and he’s suffering
He hurts others to drown out the pain
Drugs, alcohol, harming others and breaking the law become his escape
Pissed off at the world and everyone in it, he plans his revenge – his final escape
Why must he go on?
The world hurt him
Now it’s time to hurt the world
That’s what he believed
Might as well take the easy way out
Might as well give up and give in
Suicide was his only option

This poem goes out to a young, grown woman
Who never stopped fighting
Her name is Kate
The world for her still seems like a dangerous place
But her trust is building
And she’s starting to feel safe
She’s learning to trust herself and others
But most of all, God’s plan
She’s so courageous
She’s strong and resilient
She’s healing and transforming
She’s positive and faithful
She’s found; no longer lost and confused, no longer alone
She’s forever climbing mountains
Never at the top, but she never f-ing stops
Why must she go on?
Because of faith, meaning and purpose
Because of God and her army full of people
That’s what she believed
So she took the hard way out
She never gave up or gave in
She’s still alive and breathing
Suicide was no longer an option

NEVER GIVE UP.

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