Self-expression

All I want to do is succeed
But thoughts and feelings impede
On my ability to concentrate
So I constantly procrastinate
Hand assignments in late
Can’t even meet the extension date
Fuck try’na work in this mind state
I’m tired of having to try
So damn hard to get by
And, my motivation is lacking
I’m starting to slack and
Concentration decreases
Frustration increases
Fuck my perfectionism
Here comes procrastination
The clock ticks
And, so do I
‘Cause I’m ticked off, pissed off
I’m still where I left off
Thinking, “Fuck off”
Perfectionism, OCD
Let me be
I just want to be free
Hand this in on time
Find time to unwind
And, still manage to pass my classes
But, with each moment that passes
I’m, working as slow as molasses
What’s wrong with me?
Perfectionism, OCD
Let me be
I just want to be free
But I’m just so obsessive
And I know it’s excessive
Try’na make progress
But I think I’m regressin’
Stressin’
Try’na learn my lesson
Try’na change my mindset
But I ain’t mastered that yet
Perhaps I just
Haven’t figured it out yet
You know, how to truly let go and
Tell myself, “Kate, no more
You’ve gone over this before
Be strong, move on
The deadline is near
Let go of your fears
That cause you to do
The things that you do
Like write and delete
Then write again
Read and then stop
Start over again
Edit, then check
Check it again
Repeat and repeat
Over again
You don’t need to
Reassurance
You don’t need it
I assure you
You have done enough
You are good enough
Not perfect, but still worth it
‘Cause a mark, mistake, or flaw
Does not define who you are
So ‘push the button’
Be done with it
Remember
You can do it
So don’t give up
And don’t give in
I know that you can make it”
But fuck, that don’t always work
And I’m needing support
Home don’t always work
This pen and paper work
So I write while I fight
These demons
And I write and express
These feelings
Upset, ’cause I didn’t finish
These stupid papers in time
Regret, how I spend my time
Frustrated, ’cause I tried
My absolute best, my hardest
Even in the darkest
Moments, I still try
Every day
And every night
To make it right
To win this fight
But, I’m losing sleep
And, all I do is weep
I’m tired, angry
Upset and stressed
Routine’s a mess
Losing patience
I fucking hate this
I’m pissed off
I can’t take this
Try’na balance
These feelings
These thoughts
I’m caught
In the cycle
It’s quite the battle
I’m fighting
I’m crying
I keep trying
Try’na stay strong
Try’na hold on
But I’m tired
I’m tired of being tired
Of trying
Of crying
Of dying inside and
I’m tired of fighting
But fuck it… I won’t give up ‘til the day I die and
I’ll keep “pushing buttons”
I ain’t scared of nutton
I’m Kate The Great
And I’m gonna graduate
And to be quite frank
I have, not only me, but you as well, to thank
So I won’t stop trying
Won’t stop fighting
I will win this fight and
I am destined to win, so
I will not give up and
I will not give in
‘Cause Kate Morden
Although a worrier
And you may worry for her
She’s a fucking WARRIOR
And a fighter exists inside of her
So when life knocks me down
Over and over, and over again
The fighter inside of me
Will not back down
So I fall, and then rise
Like the sun set, then rise
Today’s a new day
A second chance
To make it right
To win this fight

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